Swerve

Player Name: Pura
Are you 16 or older: yes
Contact: purapea
Current Characters: Bumblebee (TFA)
Tag: swerve

IN CHARACTER
Name: Swerve
Canon: Transformers (IDW G1)
Canon Point: The end of Issue #55 of MTMTE, after the final stand against the Decepticon Justice Division.
Age: About five million years old.

History: history here

Personality:

The first thing you'll pick up when meeting Swerve is that he has a mouth on him. He loves to talk and will keep talking, talk over you, gossip, joke and tease without so much as needing a breath or letting you get a word in. His nickname back in the academy was 'Shut the Hell Up' and he still lives up to it today. Most of the time he rode the fine line of getting on your nerves and wanting to strangle him to get him to stop talking, but he'll always do it with a cheerful smile, a joke, a charming attitude and snide quip that for some reason everybody puts up with. He's a bartender, so talking, joking, gossip and listening to people pour out their sorrows is part of the job--and even though he tells you that he can keep a secret, it's pretty common knowledge that if you tell Swerve something, the entire ship will know in a few megacycles (for example when Swerve found out about Agent 113 firing a data slug into his shoulder was what caused his rust infection, he added a new drink to the menu called 'a shot in the shoulder' and it cost 1.13 shanix, regardless that the information was top secret). He is all talk though, and when given an opportunity to put his money where his mouth is, will often throw his hands up and back out. His cheerful, whimsical attitude, is often a cover-up, hiding the fact that Swerve is actually a pretty depressed and anxious individual. But hey, everybody thinks that if you tell jokes you're happy, right?

The jokes are a coping mechanism, but one that distances himself from people he wants to be friends with and ones that are often told at somebody else's expense. He struggles with knowing where to draw the line, and has no problem with telling jokes to people's faces or behind their backs, like when he calls Whirl 'Nut Job' to Tailgate, effectively fooling the naive bot that that was Whirl's name. It's never anything that could get him killed, and is always meant in good fun, but Swerve lacks tact and often puts his foot in his mouth when it comes to letting his mouth run wild about somebody--to the point that other bots remind him not to mention certain things to certain people, lest it cause a meltdown and start another civil war. It's because the way his jokes and pranks permeate his life that Swerve still hasn't found a roommate to replace his old one, Red Alert, a bot with crippling paranoia that Swerve made light of by changing their habsuite around whilst Red was sleeping. This drove Red into a paranoid breakdown, but that's what roommates are for, right? It's things like this that Swerve becomes infamous for, making everything, but especially his loneliness and 'roommate quest' worse for himself. Still, some of his antics are actually fun and enjoyed by a lot of the crew! He holds regular themed nights (his most famous being the 'come dressed as someone you'd like to punch night') and lock-ins at the bar, and even names a few drinks after shenanigans they've been in.

Swerve is described as a 'friend of many, best friend to no-one'. He himself actually tries to be a good friend when he can, even having a group of close friends that he calls the 'Swerve Squad'. He generally tries to see the good in people, not throwing people out of his bar when they have ptsd flashbacks and wreck the place and is loyal and will jump to help out a friend in need if he can. He puts his friends above his own life. like when he ran to try and help Skids who was under attack from Legislators, even though he misses all of his shots, putting himself at risk. Unfortunately, the friendships, to Swerve at least, seem to be one way, and Swerve lies to himself constantly about how much people actually like him verses tolerate him. His friendship with Skids is probably the closest one he has, and even Skids didn't realise that Swerve was struggling with crippling depression and harbouring a bad rust infection. If anyone had bothered to visit his room, they would've found him, practically decomposing in his own fluids after months of neglect. So Swerve's doubts about how people perceive him are well founded, but his anxiety and obnoxious behaviour doesn't help. His anxiety often makes him think that people just laugh at his jokes instead of actually enjoying his company, and he mentioned this to several of the crew--notably Rewind and a drunk Ultra Magnus--but it doesn't seem to have been picked up on.

So that anxiety, right? Swerve has crippling anxiety and self esteem issues which are heavily buried underneath his talking and laughter. In fact, he often purposely talks to distract himself from his own problems, trying to make light of hideous situations. This happened back when Swerve was on a team to investigate an older Decepticon outpost, and he ended up just constantly talking, asking personal questions and generally distracting everyone so they didn't actually notice he had a pretty serious injury and was leaking out. He didn't want to worry everyone about himself, and actually made them sort of mad that he wouldn't shut up instead of admitting he was in a lot of pain and actually needed medical help.

But covering it up often makes it worse for himself, as it makes people not feel like they know the real him. He brushes off any concerns, insisting that he's fine and that everything is fine even when he's not. Swerve is his own worst enemy in this respect, telling a drunk Magnus who asked how Swerve got everybody to like him, that there's a difference between people genuinely liking you and just laughing at your jokes. He even removes himself from stressful situations by acting as a narrator--something that he does a lot in the heat of battle to try and disassociate away from the fact that this is happening and transfer it to feeling as if it's something that's happening in his favourite TV show. During the fight with Overlord, whilst under the effect of a 'Metabomb' Swerve kept acting like he was in a comic book, commentating what was happening, which unsettled everyone around him, until Drift made him stop.

Swerve is a chronic exaggerator. He likes to lie to himself and everybody around him that the stories he tells are made of far grander things than what actually happened. He tells everybody about all ten quests he's been on, with no real proof and deludes himself into thinking every thing is okay, and that he's coping. He greatly exaggerated his friendship with the famous Cybertronian racer Blurr, saying that they were the best of friends, and had always wanted to open a bar together after the war. This, however, was a throwaway comment from a celebrity to an obsessive fan, and when they eventually meet again after the war, Blurr has no idea who Swerve is, finding him kind of obnoxious.

Unfortunately, not talking about his problems often means they bubble over and explode when everything gets too much. This was prevalent in the Swearth incident. Swerve got incredibly depressed after Ratchet's departure from the ship, after meeting his hero Blurr who had no idea who he was and started to stay in his habsuite more. He continued to pretend everything was normal though, sending out a holomatter avatar, a hologram of hard light, to take his place in the bar. As months progressed, an old injury flared up, giving Swerve a hideous rust infection which took it's toll on him until eventually his holomatter went offline as he passed out in his own fluids. It was only then that people realised he was in trouble, having no prior warning signals to this happening. During the ordeal, Swerve imagined up a entire Sitcom Earth, and basically put himself in an episode of Friends. His personality split into three entities, a priest that represented his regions days early in his life, a dermatologist to represent his metallurgy career, and a unemployed stand up comedian to represent his joker side. The comedian was berated constantly by the other two, a clear symbol of Swerve's self loathing, the dermatologist telling him at least he's trying to do something with his life instead of wasting it on something he's not good at. Swerve would've happily lived out the rest of his life in this canned laughter, shenanigan full world, feeling that living here was better than becoming a background character in his own world but was found and rejoined as one by a small group of his friends--Skids at the forefront.

His love of human culture, specifically sitcoms, helped fuel the meta-adventure to Swearth, and Swerve feels especially drawn to them. He feels as if the Lost Light is just like a sitcom--a groups of misfits and rejects going on adventures together around the universe and learning things and growing as people in twenty two minutes (or pages). He has a main cast in his head, who are extras and reoccurring guest stars, putting himself in the title sequence as a main cast member. He mentions during Swearth that when Megatron joined the ship, he struggled under the new leadership, clashing with the new captain and faded into the background. He felt as if he wasn't important to the narrative anymore and that if he just faded away, it wouldn't really matter as nobody would remember him. He didn't intend on the entire crew coming to look for him, nor the heartfelt speeches from Skids and Cyclonus to convince him of his worth.

His jovial outlook on life not only hides his deeper emotional issues, but also his intelligence. A lot of people forget that Swerve was a scientist first. Bartender second. He was stationed at a theoretical science facility called the Kimia Facility for most of the war, and avoided a lot of the fighting by messing around with different metal alloys and coming up with crazy ideas for new and improved armour platings. He was surrounded by others who were top of their field as well as bots who were closer to mad scientists than anything. He'd wanted to swap his metallurgy for bartending for as long as he could remember, but the war didn't call for many bartenders, so he had to continue his work. Though he's very intelligent, Swerve is very easily distracted by things that are more fun, which makes him procrastinate on things with a greater importance -- for example, when he focuses on his bar and running it instead of making sure it was okay to begin with with Rodimus and Ultra Magnus, just telling everyone that it'll be fine!

This fun procrastination can absorb him completely, making it hard to get him back on task, much to the frustration to many of his superiors. Rodimus told him that he wasn't allowed to go on a mission because all he hadn't done anything useful with his skills in months, knowing that it would make Swerve question his worth and usefulness to the ship. Swerve was prepared to shut it down for good and throw himself back into science and had even started to pack everything up, but the events that followed allowed him to use his skills on the mission to figure out a cure for the disease Cybercrosis using his science skills, and Swerve decided that he could do both bartending and science if he wanted to. It was about finding a balance

Overall, you can count on Swerve for a good prank, a laugh and a good glass of engex (don't believe that slag about it being watered down) any time, and he'll be the first one to jump at the chance to go on a legendary quest to feel part of something grander. Inside you have a self-loathing little minibot, who is trying to desperately cover up the fact he's an unhappy person, longing for friendship that he can never seem to deepen. People don't take the joker seriously, thinking everything is another joke, another punchline, instead of a hand reaching out for help. Maybe that's why comedy sitcoms are Swerve's favourite, because pretending it is another joke, more slapstick shenanigans instead of his friends dying and dealing with his emotions is so much better. The real world sucks, and Swerve sometimes wishes he could live in Swearth.

Contracts: upon being given the contract, Swerve is going to sign the fuck out of it. No, seriously. His point in canon means having to face the fact that his best friend just died, and right now, Swerve really doesn't want to deal or even think about it. He's going to think that this is some kind of Swearth 2: Return of the Meta, and will gladly lose himself to it. If he doesn't have to confront his feelings and realise that Skids is dead? Fine by him. He's going to ask about the Bar facilities for people like him, and maybe inquire as to setting one up. Gonna do it the official way this time.

Abilities/Skills:
• swerve is a literal robot. He's somewhere between 8/9feet tall, and whilst this is huge by human standards it's pretty small for a Cybertronian. He's technically classed as a 'minibot'. Still, he's capable of taking a hit (he once actually shot himself in the face and survived) and is fairly durable against most attacks. He doesn't really went to fight though. Against other Cybertronians, he won't last that long.
• metallurgist, scientist. Swerve has unique sensors in his hands that can analyse metals. This includes things like carbon dating, detecting components and being able to make new alloys and materials during war time to strengthen armour. He was part of a team on Kimia Facility, a team of the 'best and brightest' Autobots that were aiding the war effort doing cutting edge scientific research.
• transforms - being a Cybertronian, Swerve has a vehicle mode, though it's not something he uses that regularly. He also has a holomatter avatar. And being surrounded by all the Humans on the ship? Swerve is gonna be freaking delighted that he can take it out for a spin regularly.


Strengths/Weaknesses:
Strengths: Intelligent, metallurgy specialist, good at distilling high grade engex for getting robots drunk, forcibly optimistic, great at stories and jokes, generally a good time
Weaknesses: Terrible shot (he literally shot himself in the face and shot his friend Rung's head off), crippling anxiety and low self-esteem, talks non-stop to the point of grinding on people's nerves, bad in fights in general--Swerve is a non combatant and has no weapons built into his frame, tends to get easily distracted and is pretty clumsy thanks to his square and bulky body.

Items: (all items are stored in his subspace storage pocket, a little portal to put things in)
• 3x Energon cubes
• 2x high-grade energon bottles
• a bag of energon sticks
• 'My First Blaster™'
• a data slug with several GBs of Earth Sitcoms and comics

SAMPLES
Network Sample:
[The camera is shakey as Swerve tries to get the hang of using it on his wrist, squinting at it through his visor as it clicks on before a small whirring beep sounds off as he realises it's online.]

Eyy! Brilliant! Got this thing working. [he's going to finger guns at the camera with his spare hand] So, hey there crew of the Moira, aka Swearth 2: Return of the emotional trauma! Quester, bartender, and all round awesome guy Swerve at your service. Gotta say, this ship is kinda smaller than the Lost Light--your hallways could use some expanding for us taller guys. I mean, not for me, but you know. Other guys. [he waves his hand dismissively, seeming to drift off for a few moments.]

Anyway, off topic, I know. But it's been a while since I've had a captive audience, let alone one with so many organics! I've seen dozens of you squishy buggers! You're everywhere! And that's so cool! I gotta get my holo up and running so I can be one with you or someone.

So, two main things I wanna know:

One, where's the nearest alcoholic establishment, a guy could really use a stiff glass of high grade right about now, and two--or, actually, well this kinda is part of one, since I need to know if you people even know what high grade is or how to distill it and last time this happened I was sort of human so I didn't even need to fuel up with energon, I just ate a fragton of pizza and drank good ol' fashioned beer in a can which was a weird but awesome experience, I can tell you that. Wait, where was I going with this again?

Oh! Right! Energon. You lot know what it is, or am I gonna starve slowly and painfully? And without even getting overcharged. That would be an awful way to go, nobody should have to live out their last moments in life without getting completely wankered. Not that I intend on dying, but you know. You never know what's around the next quantum jump!

[he starts getting distracted, looking off screen at something, and mutters to himself:] Slag, Quantum Leap--do I even still have that data slug on me? Gotta finish that episode before I forg--

[the feed switches off as he brushes fingers over his device.]


Prose/Action Sample: Test Drive Meme Thread